Is what happened trama? Could be.... then again, if I eat a bag of marshmallows at age 7 and throw up afterwards, that could be trauma too.
(my grandmother did this - and passed away age 84 having never eaten marshmallows again. In fact, she spent her entire life recoiling at the thought of them)
Trama is not what happened to someone....
Trama is how they
react to what happened to them.
I forgive him. He did ask me for forgiveness, and I accepted it.
Sorry friend. I'm going to drop my 2 cents like its hot.
If you don't trust and avoid someone before you forgive them, and don't trust and avoid someone after you forgive them, and you're haunted before and after, then.... I'd say you don't really forgive him.
Forgiveness isn't a verbal confirmation checklist. Its an action with noticeable change of heart and behavior.
You're holding on to something about this.... and until you can let that go, it will continue to be weight you carry around.
I can think back to being a kid. At summer camp, a couple "friends" tried to hold me underwater in the pool. ha ha ha hilarious.
In high school as a freshman, I'm walking through the hall and a senior puts a trashbag over my head. Another senior another time, wiped a loogy on the side of my face.
This is probably the worst possible side-note ever to be said by anyone, but.... anyone who's completely baffled at these school shootings that keep happening, was either 100% pampered through school, or was the bully themselves recklessly pushing people to the brink.
I can't let these things and other things take hostage of my life. ....and live in my head rent-free.
I can't afford to do that and can't think of anyone who can...
Get out of the past man. None of us can make a new beginning, but we can all make a better ending....
That's "hope" in action.