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Post by Thomas Eversole on Mar 28, 2017 17:12:21 GMT -6
Q: What's the difference between oatmeal and gruel? A: If you're eating oatmeal, your parents are still alive.
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Post by exo on Apr 4, 2017 13:42:03 GMT -6
A leper finally gets the courage to go out and about rather than stay shut in ALL the time. He decides that since these trips will probably be a rare thing, that he's gong to attend a football game. Loves watchin it on TV, figures he needs to see it live at least once, and besides, maybe between the cool weather and wearin a jacket and the fact that his favorite team is terrible and attendance will be sparse, maybe he can do this without drawing too much unwanted attention over his appearance.
The day finally comes, he goes and sits in a sparsely populated area of the stands. 1st quarter comes and goes, no problem. Nobody says anything to him, he's feeling pretty good, even if his team is already down 10 points.
Just before halftime, he can tell the guy next to him is a little put off, but his team kicks a late field goal to close the gap to 3 points, and he's wondering if his team might actually pull off an upset.
Then the 3rd quarter starts. thwbguy next to him has decided to move a few seats away, and he notices he keeps getting sideways glances. Doesn't think too much about it, because the opposing team ran back the 2nd half kickoff for a score, and his team has consecutive plays of INT returned for score, fumble that results in the score, a QB sack that leaves the QB's throwing arm hanging limp at his side, and just like that, a surprisingly competitive game has turned into a 20 point blowout in all of 5 minutes, and the team now has to rely on their 2nd string QB.
The guy a few seats over is sobbing, with his hands in his head, turning green and repeating "oh, that's awful, that's terrible.....gonna be sick......"
The leper gets brave enough to talk, asks the guy if he's gonna be alright, because the injury didn't look THAT bad, even after seeing it replayed 10 times on the Jumbotron screen.
The other guy turns to him and says "Oh, that's not the problem. Injuries happen.....but the guy behind you keeps dippinghis nachos in your neck."
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Apr 5, 2017 8:05:07 GMT -6
AAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! NICE one. Kind of reminds me of this joke. Q: What do you call a leper in a hot tub? A: Stew
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Oct 31, 2018 21:30:14 GMT -6
My brother and I found this to be quite funny. It's a picture, but I think an applicable caption would be "Happy Halloween". LOL
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Post by Deepfriar on Jan 16, 2019 10:12:50 GMT -6
I thought of a great place to send kids with ADHD... Concentration camp. (that's my original LOL)
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Post by Borndead on Jan 16, 2019 11:00:12 GMT -6
What´s small, red & scratches on glass? A baby in the oven We used to tell this joke a lot like 15 years ago. Were cool times.
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Jan 17, 2019 12:16:09 GMT -6
Q: What's the worst part about owning cats? A: Telling your parents you're gay. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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