Post by Deepfriar on Apr 1, 2016 19:49:40 GMT -6
I was going through some flash drives and ran across a file where I typed up a summary of my "testimony." I figured I would share with you guys since I consider you my Christian metal family.
"I was raised a believer but gradually walked away from God for many years as I became an adult. My adversary knew with such a strong spiritual foundation in my childhood years that he would have to be crafty to get me to desert God. He knew the buttons to push... youthful lust, family dysfunction (which bred rebellion against authority), pride. About a year and a half ago I finally came to a point where I said, "There is no God." I was at such a place of hopelessness and failure. Within 48 hours after I made that dreadful statement, I was in a mental hospital, losing my grip on reality and falling prey to all kinds of lies and deception and insanity in my mind.
But what the devil intended for my destruction God turned around for good. My fiancee (who is now my wife) visited me at the hospital and told me she had accepted Jesus as her Savior and brought me my old Bible that I hadn't touched in years. I gave my heart back to Jesus and ended up becoming a light in a dark place... I ministered to the other people with substantial mental issues by showing them love and focusing on their problems rather than mine. I met all kinds of people, from ones who were permanent residents and had to be restrained by the staff, to a girl who had cut marks on her wrists. Looking back, I wish I would have been bold and directly witnessed to them about Jesus, but I was very afraid being in a strange place and only having just rediscovered a relationship with God, I lacked boldness. But I didn't fail to carry my Bible around with me everywhere I went in the hospital, and I just hope and pray that it was enough for everyone around me to make the connection that it was God who gave me strength to be positive and loving in a situation when most people would be angry and unruly (having freedom taken away... could not even go outside for fresh air in the behavioral facility).
I can't even explain or understand all of the things that happened while I was committed, I only know that God is good and full of grace and accepted me back with arms that were wide open the whole time. He calls me son, and I call Him Father. Praise the Lord!
I went through two divorces by the time I was 25. I wanted more than anything to have a healthy relationship & to have my own family as a way to sort of try to atone for my parents' failure in their relationship. Of course it was a mistake to think I could produce prosperity by my own effort, but this was during the years that I neglected my relationship to God. Now at the age of 31, I have everything I've ever wanted and it is thanks to God's mercy and faithfulness. I am putting Him first, and all these other things are being added unto me! My wife and I have the most wonderful relationship. We pray together and read the Bible together daily. It is a beautiful thing to get to witness the beginnings of her relationship to Jesus Christ and get to see her reactions to reading some things in the Bible for the very first time. I thank God that I was raised in church and already have quite a bit of foundational truth in my Spirit and can be a sort of spiritual mentor for her. If only I had not forsaken my true Love for so many years! But God is so gracious that when I apologized to Him for it, He told me, "Son, now you have a testimony." That means I can effectively reach out to people of my generation who may struggle with some of the same things I have struggled with. Isn't the Lord amazing?
Now, a year and a half [more like two years and a half now] after I was released from the mental hospital, I am studying the Word and getting its seed in my heart knowing that it will flourish and produce fruit in my life and in the lives of people around me. I feel God's call on my life to witness/minister to people. I'm not sure exactly how I am to fulfill this call, whether it be something as grandiose as being a pastor or something as simple as conducting Bible studies. All I know is that I want to produce 100 fold, not for my glory but for His, and to further His kingdom to manifest His good, acceptable, and perfect will that as many would know the Lord as possible."
"I was raised a believer but gradually walked away from God for many years as I became an adult. My adversary knew with such a strong spiritual foundation in my childhood years that he would have to be crafty to get me to desert God. He knew the buttons to push... youthful lust, family dysfunction (which bred rebellion against authority), pride. About a year and a half ago I finally came to a point where I said, "There is no God." I was at such a place of hopelessness and failure. Within 48 hours after I made that dreadful statement, I was in a mental hospital, losing my grip on reality and falling prey to all kinds of lies and deception and insanity in my mind.
But what the devil intended for my destruction God turned around for good. My fiancee (who is now my wife) visited me at the hospital and told me she had accepted Jesus as her Savior and brought me my old Bible that I hadn't touched in years. I gave my heart back to Jesus and ended up becoming a light in a dark place... I ministered to the other people with substantial mental issues by showing them love and focusing on their problems rather than mine. I met all kinds of people, from ones who were permanent residents and had to be restrained by the staff, to a girl who had cut marks on her wrists. Looking back, I wish I would have been bold and directly witnessed to them about Jesus, but I was very afraid being in a strange place and only having just rediscovered a relationship with God, I lacked boldness. But I didn't fail to carry my Bible around with me everywhere I went in the hospital, and I just hope and pray that it was enough for everyone around me to make the connection that it was God who gave me strength to be positive and loving in a situation when most people would be angry and unruly (having freedom taken away... could not even go outside for fresh air in the behavioral facility).
I can't even explain or understand all of the things that happened while I was committed, I only know that God is good and full of grace and accepted me back with arms that were wide open the whole time. He calls me son, and I call Him Father. Praise the Lord!
I went through two divorces by the time I was 25. I wanted more than anything to have a healthy relationship & to have my own family as a way to sort of try to atone for my parents' failure in their relationship. Of course it was a mistake to think I could produce prosperity by my own effort, but this was during the years that I neglected my relationship to God. Now at the age of 31, I have everything I've ever wanted and it is thanks to God's mercy and faithfulness. I am putting Him first, and all these other things are being added unto me! My wife and I have the most wonderful relationship. We pray together and read the Bible together daily. It is a beautiful thing to get to witness the beginnings of her relationship to Jesus Christ and get to see her reactions to reading some things in the Bible for the very first time. I thank God that I was raised in church and already have quite a bit of foundational truth in my Spirit and can be a sort of spiritual mentor for her. If only I had not forsaken my true Love for so many years! But God is so gracious that when I apologized to Him for it, He told me, "Son, now you have a testimony." That means I can effectively reach out to people of my generation who may struggle with some of the same things I have struggled with. Isn't the Lord amazing?
Now, a year and a half [more like two years and a half now] after I was released from the mental hospital, I am studying the Word and getting its seed in my heart knowing that it will flourish and produce fruit in my life and in the lives of people around me. I feel God's call on my life to witness/minister to people. I'm not sure exactly how I am to fulfill this call, whether it be something as grandiose as being a pastor or something as simple as conducting Bible studies. All I know is that I want to produce 100 fold, not for my glory but for His, and to further His kingdom to manifest His good, acceptable, and perfect will that as many would know the Lord as possible."