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Friend
Jan 7, 2017 10:55:16 GMT -6
Post by _ on Jan 7, 2017 10:55:16 GMT -6
What is the function/role/definition/description of a friend?
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. It'd be great to read your thoughts.
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Friend
Jan 7, 2017 13:18:02 GMT -6
Post by Thomas Eversole on Jan 7, 2017 13:18:02 GMT -6
Friends are friendly! /end_thread
Just kidding! LOL I think when it comes to friends, there are love languages involved which aren't necessarily to a romantic level. (Gifts, acts of service, quality time, positive affirmations and physical affection - to be specific) There's also going to be a certain level of trust involved as well.
ie: I got a few people I either hug, high-five or fist bump when I see them at work. (physical affection) One of my friends said she felt like she looked horrible - I told her she was being too hard on herself and assured her there was nothing wrong with the way she looked. (positive affirmations) My supervisor at work gave me a card telling me that she appreciated my work! (gift) I came back to work after some time off for health reasons and my desk was frickin' dusty... one of my friends grabbed the thing of wet-wipes for me from across the building (acts of service) After I get off work, I tend to linger around, talking to people for an hour after my shift. (quality time)
I recently saw this video and it made me think of me and my "friends" as well. This should make you feel better if you don't have many...
The person I would consider to be my best friend, I haven't talked to in months. Nothing bad/personal happened, just I have my life and he has his... but when we get together, we might as well be little kids. That's how we act because we've been friends since kindergarten.
My wife is also my best friend. When you take out the romantic stuff and stuff we have in common (which isn't much), we still have matching personalities.
I also have friends that I've never met. (like you guys, some customers of my music, etc.) There's no proximity requirement for friendship. I have some friends that I don't even know their name. (I see them a lot and chat with them in the gym - our names just never came up in the discussion. LOL)
The tricky part is acquaintance vs friend. Which is which? Where's the line? To me, these might as well be interchangeable words. ...to other people, they might be very different...
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Friend
Jan 7, 2017 22:10:04 GMT -6
Post by nocturnaliridescence on Jan 7, 2017 22:10:04 GMT -6
What is the function/role/definition/description of a friend? I'd say, someone who platonically improves your life in some way. Even if they improve your life in some other way too, ie family members [caretakers] or spouses [romantic partners] I'm extremely introverted, so I prefer deeper, more personal discussions with individual people, or very small groups. But I've also had a few friends who took a much more casual approach to friendship, and I was still friends with them. We joked around a lot, played video games once in awhile, etc. They weren't really the sort of people I'd ask for advice, or vent my problems to, but I didn't really mind, that wasn't the kind of friendship I had with them. Whatever the expectations people have in a friendship, a "real" friend would be someone who tries to uphold those expectations, and cares about the other person to the degree they're logically expected to.
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Friend
Jan 20, 2017 6:24:54 GMT -6
Post by _ on Jan 20, 2017 6:24:54 GMT -6
I think when it comes to friends, there are love languages involved That makes sense. Thank you for the examples. I also appreciated the note about how you can be friends with people you haven't met in person and people you meet in person but without any formal introduction.
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Friend
Jan 20, 2017 6:27:28 GMT -6
Post by _ on Jan 20, 2017 6:27:28 GMT -6
Whatever the expectations people have in a friendship, a "real" friend would be someone who tries to uphold those expectations, and cares about the other person to the degree they're logically expected to. Interesting! I like how relative that is. Like for the friends with whom you play video games ... joy/bonding and friendly competition/teamwork might be the expectations rather than any deep conversation, so perhaps then friendship is satisfied.
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Friend
Jan 20, 2017 6:32:30 GMT -6
Post by _ on Jan 20, 2017 6:32:30 GMT -6
(You caught me: I didn't try to figure out how to post all this in one post. My bad.)
I asked a bunch of folks this question, from very good friend to those less so, parents to ESL students. The answer I appreciated most was something that fulfills the following: 1) wants you to be okay 2) tries to help you be okay 3) understands when you're not okay 4) strives to tell you the truth in all things. The fourth was not fully fleshed out and is much more flexible per circumstance-- I did ask this dude on the spot and this was his spontaneous answer.
Anyways.
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