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Post by _ on Sept 24, 2017 18:52:25 GMT -6
Anyone care to share some behaviors or habits they've been able to change in their lives and how they did so? Anything from drug use to making dinner for your family more to going to sleep at a certain hour (those are really random examples, I know).
From personal experience, some academic interests, and our common intuition, I know behavior change is often difficult and complex. It'd be great to hear some success stories.
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Post by nocturnaliridescence on Sept 25, 2017 20:21:41 GMT -6
In therapy, I've learned to deal with anxiety through self-talk. Which basically means self-reassurance. Self-reassurance may seem like a simplistic "placebo" kind of thing at first glance, and .... well, it kind of is, but it also helps ground you and keep your thoughts in check. It's sort of a reverse "devil's advocate" thing. I don't have a caffeine "problem" per se, but I do feel kind of "weird" the next day if I don't have enough the previous day. I've been cutting back very slowly. Instead of having a full bottle of pop/soda for example, I'll have like 3/4 of one. Soon (tomorrow?) I'll make myself stop before the drink reaches the bottom of the label. Then I'll work my way up to "half-way up the label" etc. The general ideas behind these can be applied to a lot of different things
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Sept 26, 2017 8:10:34 GMT -6
Anyone care to share some behaviors or habits they've been able to change in their lives and how they did so? I know when you were referring to "drug use", I'm sure it was in the context of stopping, not starting.... but I feel like the voice of experience otherwise, from the other side of the fence. Cannabis use since January-ish 2016, with being "against" it for years before that. Its still a regular for me, but my use hasn't increased. With 1 toke, the goal (still) isn't to get messed up. Its 100% for relief of pain/nausea. Its made me rethink some of the treatment "propaganda". Those facilities teach "cross addiction", which is, if you abuse ONE substance, you cannot have a "casual relationship" with any other substances, because you'll either - start abusing the new drug - get bored with it and go back to abusing what you were before I'm finding that's not necessarily true. ....and I know I'm on the right track when any given day, my wife/family cannot tell if I've had my toke or not. (They've asked me "Have you had any green today?" before and after I've had any) I started drinking 2 cups of coffee every day, after seeing a study on the news (ABC World News Tonight and GMA) between hundreds of thousands of Americans and Europeans that if you have 2 cups of coffee every day, you're 80% less likely to "die suddenly" for ANY reason. I use Folger's "Simply Smooth" which is easier on the gut. A little cream in it. Absolutely NO SUGAR. Absolutely ONLY 2 cups of coffee with no other caffeine for the day. Regarding nicotine, I think my response to a comment on my YouTube channel is applicable. I'll be the first to admit its a habit... but for now, there are more benefits to me using it than going without it. I'll "fast" from it for a half day here and there or so. I surprisingly don't miss it too much any time I stop using it, but much like cannabis, I'll start "paying in pain" if I go too long without it.
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Post by Borndead on Sept 26, 2017 11:50:26 GMT -6
Thank God, I´ve never had problems with drug use but I had & still have my fair share of problems with eating a lot. Also, I used to be very shy and quiet, but through my jobs in different warehouses and a time working in deliveries I was forced to get in contact with people: be it in person, via phone or online, so now it´s not that big of a deal anymore.
Still a bad "habit" I have is that I spend a lot of my free time at home, be it listening/making music, playing games, creating designs or reading something. Just in general most of my activities are indoors related. I´m not an anti-social person; I like being around people, but somehow although I know people we just don´t meet in our free time. I´m trying to change it, I started training some martial arts so that's something, I´m also trying to organize some night out with some collegues (we´ll see how that goes).
So, yeah not to encouraging but one must push forward. ^_^
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Post by _ on Sept 26, 2017 15:30:51 GMT -6
self-talk. Which basically means self-reassurance. Self-reassurance may seem like a simplistic "placebo" kind of thing at first glance, and .... well, it kind of is, but it also helps ground you and keep your thoughts in check. It's sort of a reverse "devil's advocate" thing. Could you provide some real or hypothetical examples of the self-talk please? and I know I'm on the right track when any given day, my wife/family cannot tell if I've had my toke or not. That is actually a really interesting measurement. Thank you for sharing. Also I appreciate your response to the dude on YouTube because it reads very kind and encouraging while still presenting the truth of the matter for your situation. I used to be very shy and quiet, but through my jobs in different warehouses and a time working in deliveries I was forced to get in contact with people: be it in person, via phone or online, so now it´s not that big of a deal anymore. That's awesome, dude. Not that I think there is anything wrong with being shy and quiet, but it's cool that you, presumably, had a positive attitude toward the challenge and have 'gained another skill' in interpersonal communication. Keep up the good work! I´m also trying to organize some night out with some collegues (we´ll see how that goes) This sounds great. Your proactivity is encouraging.
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Post by nocturnaliridescence on Sept 26, 2017 16:39:22 GMT -6
Could you provide some real or hypothetical examples of the self-talk please? Say you have a fear of public speaking and you have to give a presentation. Self-talk would involve telling yourself (or more likely thinking to yourself) things like "these people aren't judging me as harshly as I think they are", "they're paying more attention to the information I'm telling them than how I'm conducting myself", things like that. Or even simple encouragement. "I can do this", "their opinions of me don't matter anyway", etc. And it's not always those exact things obviously, it changes depending on what you want to accomplish, but overall it can't hurt, right?
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Sept 27, 2017 8:10:27 GMT -6
Still a bad "habit" I have is that I spend a lot of my free time at home, be it listening/making music, playing games, creating designs or reading something. Just in general most of my activities are indoors related. I´m not an anti-social person; I like being around people, I'm very much the same way, excluding the "reading something" for the most part. XD Except I don't see those hobbies as a "bad habit". The only thing bad, in my opinion, is considering anything that's NOT those "indoor hobbies" as a "waste of time". ie: the mindset of thinking that if I'm not creating something on my PC, I'm "not doing anything". Could you provide some real or hypothetical examples of the self-talk please? Say you have a fear of public speaking and you have to give a presentation. Self-talk would involve telling yourself (or more likely thinking to yourself) things like "these people aren't judging me as harshly as I think they are", "they're paying more attention to the information I'm telling them than how I'm conducting myself", things like that. Or even simple encouragement. "I can do this", "their opinions of me don't matter anyway", etc. And it's not always those exact things obviously, it changes depending on what you want to accomplish, but overall it can't hurt, right? The term "self-talk" is new to me, but I've done "positive affirmations" to improve my self esteem. This was something very important to me the first year or so when I was abstaining from alcohol. Its much harder to get sober if someone doesn't feel like they're WORTH sobriety. That is actually a really interesting measurement. Thank you for sharing. One serious aspect of sobriety is accountability. I often can't see my own defects, so I need others to chime in for my own character development. ...so I've been VERY transparent about my cannabis use (with my wife, my family, my AA meeting members, my doctors, etc.) I've held the "meet more than 3 in a day, it may not be them" mindset, for the past few years. If I get into an argument with the gas station clerk, the receptionist at my doctor's and then my wife, I'm less likely to point fingers at them for being in a bad mood, and more likely to think - what is it that I'm doing to cause these arguments?
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Post by _ on Sept 27, 2017 8:50:20 GMT -6
Thomas (idk how to do the fancy @ thing with your name) & nocturnaliridescence , thank you for those examples. They make a lot of sense, especially given the prevalence of the inconspicuous negative internal monologue. Its much harder to get sober if someone doesn't feel like they're WORTH sobriety. Yep. This makes sense to me. I often can't see my own defects, so I need others to chime in for my own character development. Dude, that self-awareness (in this case, the awareness of the difficulty of being self-aware) is awesome.
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Post by nocturnaliridescence on Sept 27, 2017 9:56:30 GMT -6
Thomas (idk how to do the fancy @ thing with your name) @ a d m i n without the spaces. The tag system goes by the names we sign up with, which is "admin" by default for whoever registers / starts up the forums. Glad you liked the example I gave btw, hope it helps! The term "self-talk" is new to me, but I've done "positive affirmations" to improve my self esteem. This was something very important to me the first year or so when I was abstaining from alcohol. Its much harder to get sober if someone doesn't feel like they're WORTH sobriety. Self talk is the (kinda silly) term my therapist used, but agreed, definitely Self esteem and positive affirmation matter a lot in overcoming psychological stuff.
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Post by _ on Apr 30, 2018 20:19:47 GMT -6
So behavior change is intellectually interesting, both in its psychosocial mechanisms and due to a professional relevance, and it is personally frustrating. My general failure to align my behaviors with my desires is disappointing and at times it negatively affects my self-efficacy (insert Paul's thing about not doing the things he wants to do). While my desired behavior changes vary on a spectrum of importance/consequence (ranging from inconsequential like daily flossing to significantly consequential like avoiding pornography), ... ugh, to be continued/forgotten...
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Post by _ on Jun 3, 2018 17:16:44 GMT -6
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Post by _ on Feb 12, 2019 20:18:57 GMT -6
I've been using Habitica, an app whose tag line is 'gamify your life'. It's to work on habits. I'm a Level 18 Healer
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2019 20:44:51 GMT -6
That sounds fun! I've seen stuff like that before and it seems interesting.
I used to play video games a fair bit (not too horribly much but more than I should have been). I've managed to cut that down to only on Saturdays, and even then, not always. I guess that counts as a behavior change.
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Post by _ on Mar 5, 2019 17:43:31 GMT -6
This question could be its own thread and I really hope to read some responses. What, if anything, is something behaviorally with which you are presently and significantly struggling?
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Post by nocturnaliridescence on Mar 5, 2019 20:47:52 GMT -6
What, if anything, is something behaviorally with which you are presently and significantly struggling? Wrath. Compassion. Patience.
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Post by _ on Mar 5, 2019 21:47:54 GMT -6
nocturnaliridescence thanks, bro. do you act out (e.g., throw things across the room) and are trying to manage those emotional urges?
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Mar 6, 2019 9:09:37 GMT -6
What, if anything, is something behaviorally with which you are presently and significantly struggling? I'd say anger has been a big one for me lately. The angriest I remember being as an adult, was while I was going through a divorce. (1st marriage, era 2014) I'm pretty close to being just as angry over what I mentioned in another thread. (Google digitally mugging me of my favorite games I paid for) I didn't get much of a emotional footing from the fallout that happened on this forum, before that junk went down. As far as how I'm handling my anger - not very well. During this, I'm: I'm not praying as much. I'm thinking about myself more than others. My emotion is trumping my intellect. I feel encased in a stress bubble that I don't know how to get out of. Seeing another person sharing their experience of being another victim of Google massively revs my anger up, while kind words ala "its gonna be ok" seem to have little effect in calming me down. This problem, like any problem, has a solution. Like many instances, not knowing (the game devs ghosted by Google) is worse than being told "no" and having to accept the new reality. Time and tools heal wounds, but time takes time. As with any problems in life, I keep trying - brace for the impacts - and hope the storm blows over soon...
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Post by _ on Mar 23, 2019 21:55:07 GMT -6
I've been using Habitica, an app whose tag line is 'gamify your life'. It's to work on habits. I'm a Level 18 Healer Anyone interested in doing this with me?
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Post by Thomas Eversole on Mar 24, 2019 11:07:44 GMT -6
Looks like its more for motivation and organizing? Sorry bro, but I'm going to pass on this. It does sound like fun, but I'm trying to limit my "face in a phone" time per day... and I think this app may very well take me a few steps back on that. T-T
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Post by _ on Mar 24, 2019 11:55:58 GMT -6
Yes!
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Post by _ on Mar 27, 2019 18:56:36 GMT -6
kind words ala "its gonna be ok" seem to have little effect in calming me down to be fair, if such words are spoken as vapid platitude, anger makes sense. but yeah, angry feelings vs angry actions yada yada. Thomas Eversole do you have any specific things you do to try to not act out when angry or just general sort of things to calm down?
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